Different Way of Greeting

As a start, I know that in Indonesia or most Asia, hugging or kissing cheek to cheek with each other is not something usual. It is not our custom to do so, that is why usually, when an Indonesian meets a Western and the Western hugs or kisses the Indonesian, the Indonesian would reacts awkwardly or even refuse the Western’s hugs or kisses. In our custom, especially Indonesia, hugging or kissing is inappropriate unless it is done by relatives or very close friends. Moreover, it would be more inappropriate if it is between a man and a woman who are not married or they are not related as a family. Another thing that makes hugging and kissing are not appropriate is Islam as the majority in Indonesia, because in Islam, hugging and kissing are not accepted unless it is between families or between a husband and a wife. I have an example of an intercultural misunderstanding related to the different way of greeting.

I got this story from my sister who is a teacher in an English course that is also dealing with foreign universities and representatives from universities outside Indonesia which are mostly Australian and New Zealand. Actually, it often happens to her whenever she has to deal with the representatives of universities in Australia or New Zealand. My sister is not a really conservative person, so she has no problem with kissing and hugging as a greeting as long as it is between ladies. However, a male representative from Australia hugged her when he greeted her in an exhibition in Sheraton Hotel. My sister was pretty surprised with that kind of greeting, since it is not usual in her custom and daily life. But, since she is not really conservative, she did not think of it as a problem. On the other hand, her female friends who are also Islam are not really okay with that kind of greeting, so they refused it since their Islam is really strong that they absolutely not okay with a man other than their families hugging them.

In my opinion, I am okay with that kind of greeting because I know it is just a greeting and there is no other intention. But, I cannot disagree with other people who do not think that way, because I know it is not our culture and most people think it is not polite to hug people with the opposite sex or we do not know in greeting. As far as I know, even women in Indonesia are not really use to kissing or hugging their female friends if they are not very close. My own girl friends are most likely would offer their hands in a greeting rather than hugging or kissing.

However, I do not think of the different of greeting is really a problem. Western people usually do not mind if we or in this case, my sister, does not like to be hugged or her cheek kissed. That is why, if she does not like it, she would offer her hand first before the western hug her. In the end, appropriate or not, it is depend on each person’s perspectives and cultures. For instance, if someone rose in an Islam family which has a strong belief that that way of greeting is not appropriate, then it is not.

Astari 

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