Intercultural Understanding Essay

Papa saya memiliki teman yang berasal dari Kupang. Suatu hari, mereka sekeluarga berkunjung ke rumah saya. Mereka memiliki satu anak perempuan, sebut saja namanya Lina. Pada waktu mereka baru saja sampai di rumah saya, saya baru saja pulang dari toko roti. Saya membawa sekantong plastik donat dan meletakkannya di kursi. Tiba-tiba, Lina mendekati seplastik donat tersebut dia mencoba untuk membuka dan melihat-lihat plastik makanan itu. Lalu dia juga bertanya “apa ini?” kepada saya. Tentu saja saya merasa agak aneh dengan tingkah lakunya. Padahal sudah terlihat jelas plastik itu berisi makanan karena terlihat dari merknya. Saya sempat bingung dan tidak mengerti mengapa ia bisa menanyakan hal seperti itu. Pada hari lain, sewaktu mereka sekeluarga berkunjung lagi ke rumah saya, Lina juga berani melihat dan membuka-buka tas mama saya dan melihat-lihat isinya tanpa ijin. Selain itu, Lina juga sering masuk kamar saya tanpa ijin, tiba-tiba dia membuka kamar saya dan masuk. Saya sangat terkejut dan bingung akan apa yang ia lakukan. Tidak pernah ada orang lain yang masuk kamar saya tanpa mengetuk pintu dahulu kecuali Mama saya.

Menurut saya, hal itu bisa terjadi karena perbedaan budaya yang ada antara kebudayaan di pulau Jawa dengan kebudayaan di daerah asal mereka. Mungkin di daerah asal mereka, membuka tas orang lain atau masuk ke kamar tanpa ijin adalah sesuatu yg wajar dan tidak dianggap tidak sopan. Orang di daerah kecil biasanya lebih kekeluargaan dan tidak individual, sehingga mungkin mereka menganggap milik teman mereka itu milik mereka juga karena mereka suka berbagi dan tidak terlalu memperdulikan privasi. Berbeda dengan di pulau Jawa, khusunya di kota besar seperti Surabaya, hal itu adalah sesuatu yang tidak wajar dan tidak sopan karena dianggap tidak menghargai privasi orang lain. Jujur saja, keluarga saya pun kadang merasa tidak nyaman dengan sikap anak tersebut. Kami tidak terbiasa dengan tindakan Lina karena di budaya kami, privasi itu sangat penting. Maka dari itu kami sekeluarga pun sangat terkejut ketika pertama kali Lina membuka kamar dan tas tanpa ijin.

Melalui kejadian ini, saya belajar bahwa perbedaan budaya yang ada memang terkadang tidak enak dan bisa menimbulkan konflik. Misalnya saja kejadian yang saya alami itu, bila seandainya saya tidak suka, saya bisa saja marah dan menegur Lina. Hal itu bisa menimbulkan konflik antar budaya. Saya belajar bahwa kita harus mengerti dan menghargai kebudayaan lain. Karena dengan menghargai orang lain, maka orang lain pun akan menghargai kebudayaan kita. Kita harus memiliki empati atau tenggang rasa. Maka dari itu, kita sebagai orang yang tinggal di negara yang memiliki beragam budaya, harus memiliki rasa empati dan menghargai budaya lain.

When I was in senior high school, I have a best friend named Tirza. She is a smart girl and she is beautiful. Altough she is a Javanese girl and I am a Chinese, we can be a good friend. She is a Javanese but she has bright skin. In other side, I am a Chinese but I have a tan skin.

One day, a Chinese boy named Handy was falling in love with her. Handy is a smart boy and he usually teached my best friend what she did not understand. My best friend liked him too because he is handsome and he is a kind person. Handy came to Tirza’s house to teach her Mathematics, Physics, and Chemists. My best friend’s parents liked Handy. They were agree if Tirza became Handy’s girlfriend. Tirza’s parent did not mind even Handy has different race with Tirza’s family. After a few days, he invited Tirza to come to his house and meet his parents. Tirza accepted the invitation and went to his house in a Saturday night. Handy’s parents were very welcome with my best friend. However, after Tirza went home, they forbid Handy meeting her again. Handy asked his parents why they forbid him. They said that he is not allowed to have a relationship with Tirza because altough she is beautiful, she is a Javanese girl.

My best friend and I thought that it was probably because Handy is a boy and Tirza is a girl. However, a few months later, we knew that we were wrong.

There was a Javanese boy who was falling in love with me. He is my friend since we were in Sunday School. He is my church mate and he is an honest boy. My parents know him well since he was a child. Nevertheless, when my parents knew that he was falling in love with me, they said that I had to stay away from him for a while. My parents did not agree if I had a special relationship with him. When I asked them about the reason, they said that it is because of his race. My parents do not hate the boy but they did not allow me to be his girlfriend.

After that, I can conclude that most of Chinese parents will not allow their children to have any special relationship with Javanese people. In other side, most of Javanese parents allow their children to have any special relationship with Chinese people. These facts happen to both boys and girls.

The Chinese people forbid their children because Chinese people and Javanese people have different culture and habits. For example, Javanese people will be okay to share the room with their children. By contrast, Chinese people do not really like if they must share their room with their children. Those differences will make the marriage life difficult for both of them. Also Chinese people sometimes value their selves higher than the actual condition. In their opinion, Chineses have higher status and position than the Javaneses.

By contrast, Javanese people do not mind with the race. Sometimes they feel proud if they have a Chinese mate. Javanese people do not feel that they will get difficulties if they marry Chinese people.

From this situation, I can learn something for the intercultural understanding pupose. To understand someone, I also have to know his or her culture and way of thinking. When I know their culture, I will understand their way if thinking and decrease the conflict between I and them.

Perbedaan Antara Budaya Barat dan Budaya Timur

Pada saat saya pertama kali ke Bali. Saya melihat banyak orang asing yang memakai pakaian yang sangat minim (sexy), contohnya saja bikini. Pertama saya melihatnya, saya berpikir bahwa mereka kurang sopan. Jelas saya langsung tersentak kaget saat melihatnya, kenapa orang-orang itu bisa memakai pakaian yang sangat minim seperti itu. Setelah beberapa hari berjalan, saya menemukan satu hal yang menurut budaya timur itu tidak sopan. Mereka berciuman didepan umum, seperti di pinggir jalan, mall, dsb. Saya semakin bingung, kenapa mereka tidak malu berbuat seperti itu. Kemudian saya mendatangi kakak saya dan bertanya kepadanya tentang masalah itu. Setelah dia menjelaskan kepada saya bahwa budaya orang barat sana memandang bahwa berpakaian dan bersikap seperti itu wajar. Karena memang budaya barat lebih menekankan kebebasan dalam berpakaian dan bersikap, beda dengan di Indonesia yang menganut budaya timur yang lebih mengatur cara-cara berpakaian dan bersikap. Contohnya, lebih dianjurkan untuk memakai pakaian yang tertutup dan berciuman didepan umum tidak diperbolehkan karena itu termasuk tidak sopan. Sejak saat itulah saya mengerti bedanya antara budaya barat dan budaya timur.

Different Ethnics in a Family? Why not?

First of all, I was born in a Javanese family and raised with Javanese culture. However, my extended family does not only consist of Javanese but also people from different culture such as, Chinese and Batak. Beside the cultural differences there is another difference within my family which is religion difference. Most of the members of my family are Moslems but there are also those who are Christians. On the other hand, the main topic I am going to discuss is about the cultural differences and how it makes people treat others differently. In this case, I am using something I encounter in my everyday life. I found out that, apparently, people from different ethnic are different in raising or in taking care of a child. I can see it almost every day whenever I pay a visit at my aunt and my uncle’s house which is very close to my house. My aunt, who is my father’s older sister, together with my uncle help their son and his wife taking care of their daughter, a one and a half year old toddler, since they are both working until the evening from Monday to Friday.

Actually, there is no major conflict about their cultural differences, but things like having disagreements over something trivial is unavoidable. I realize this problem since last year several months before December. The first problem is when it comes to feed the child, my aunt tend to be more gentle and understanding. For instance, if the child does not want to eat or starting to show the sign that she is going to vomit, my aunt would stop feeding her and wait for a while. On the other side, it is different with the child’s mother who tends to be more firm and a little bit coercive. Sometimes I would find it horrifying when she was feeding her child, because the child could end up cry if she refused to eat. Another problem I find between them which is related to the child’s food and what time she should be fed. There was a time when my cousin’s wife was upset about my aunt because she did not make the child’s food on time. My cousin’s wife is someone who is deft in doing things and she wants others to be as deft as she is. However, what made it a problem is she got mad about it and my cousin did not like the way his wife showing her disappointment. That problem showed me that Javanese usually stay quiet and just admit things while Batak people are blunter in showing their feelings.

Most of the time, I would feel bad and upset after seeing those events because usually I was there watching them argued or, sometimes, I heard it from my mother. I do not like the idea that ethnic differences can cause conflict in my family or in this case, my aunt’s family. I felt that way because an ethnic difference in family is not an obstacle but a plus point which can make the family has an open-minded and a broad point of view in solving problems. I really adore a family with more than one culture inside, because I think it would make the family rich of something unusual and unique.

By seeing my aunt’s family very often, I could say that people from different ethnic would have different way of thinking and expressing their feelings. If Javanese are more quiet and not really good in expressing their feelings, then Batak people are blunter and direct in showing what is in their minds. Of course, having the two in one family would be a bit difficult to make them understand or accept the differences of both cultures, since they would need some time to adjust with the situation and would probably go through many misunderstandings in the process. However, for me, that is the art of life. It would be nothing if there is no challenge in life. That is why, I think having different cultures in a family is not a really big problem.

Astari

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